Here's To Change...Oh And To You, Mark.

Change is everywhere. Everything and everyone is constantly evolving. Improving, reshaping, figuring out what works and what doesn't. And I of all people should know this; a lot hasn't been working recently.

We don't need to get into all the specifics about the problematic changes occurring in my life because that would just put us all in a bad mood, and frankly there's too much to talk about, so we'll focus on two items and try to leave most of the negativity out of the equation. Cause change can be good, right?

What's interesting to note is what hasn't changed. That often helps myself adjust and accept the things in my life that are changing. As long as I have several factors that remain the same, I'm less likely to go insane from it all. But Mark didn't want to hear about the portions of my life that are the same as they used to be, no. He wanted to hear about the differences. And so that's what we'll talk about.

Everything Has Changed, But These Are The Changes That Stand Out The Most

1. The place I sleep has changed from a double to a twin XL to a double again.

My bed at home is one of the softest doubles you'll ever meet. It is my everything, let me tell you. A good night's sleep can solve the worlds problems, and I will say, I do miss my bed quite a lot. Well, I did miss my bed after switching to a twin (much to my surprise) after moving into the loft of my new dorm room. The lofts are meant to come with a double, but mine decided that it needed some change in it's life as well, so twin XL it was. 

So how, you may ask, did I end up back in a double? Well, my friends (and Mark), I'll tell you. 

By some amazing, spectacular, spontaneous, stressful, but perfect stroke of magic stirred up by the universe, I ended up being the one to move out in the situation of a temporary triple. And I needed that pass, I just didn't realize it initially. But like I said, we weren't going to discuss the negative aspects of change, we're only going to focus on the positives. And upgrading back to a heavenly double is definitely a positive. 

You don't realize how much bed there really is to a double until you spend 4 weeks sleeping in a twin. 

The beautiful discoveries like that one that accompany change are often the best parts of it all. 

1. (<-This should really be a 2.) I am creatively thinking 24/7

There is a popular controversial musical existing in the universe at the moment (who would have thought) titled The Book of Mormon. Let's just say I've seen it twice...

Besides the point, there is a song in it called 'Turn it Off' that speaks about eliminating the feelings one has that they don't want to feel. They, "turn it off, like a light switch. Just go click!" This is how my brain used to have to view creativity. 

I went to a public high school and therefor only had one AP art class in which I attended 4 out of the 5 days in a week to work on self directed projects that were occasionally critiqued by my fabulous art teacher and mentor, Chad Manders. The class that I loved the most often had to be put second to core classes (aka, mainly just AP Calculus) that occupied the majority of my time outside of school. In order to focus on attempting to understand the rigorous material that comes with AP Calc, I had to switch my brain off of it's creative mode and into it's logical, arithmetic, numbers mode. I'm not a fan of that mode. And one could argue that Calculous requires just as much "creative thinking" as creating art does, but I don't agree that it requires the same form of creativity in the least bit. 

At SAIC, a private art college, every class relates in some way back to the creative process that art is encompassed in. There's no escaping how anything taught in any class (including English) subconsciously, if not just straight up consciously, relates back to my own artistic practice. I'm constantly thinking about reshaping concepts, developing new ideas, and forming my perception of this great big world and I don't have to ever put any of that on hold for a problem that results in one answer and has no relation to the rest of my life. 

That is by far, one of the best changes that has occurred.  

I want to talk about change more, I really do. But as I mentioned before, several things in my life have remained the same in order to preserve my sanity. One of those things ironically doesn't preserve my sanity, but it sure isn't going away any time soon. That is procrastination. So here I am, signing off at 2:21AM on Monday September 26th. One can only hope that a major change is right around the corner. And hopefully behind that corner lives some time management skills. But for now, goodnight. See you in class.

-Belle xx

#24DaysOfSAIC

Painting Practices: No White Allowed

Wednesday: Painting Practice:

Several things happened today. Most of it was good, but my bank account left me emotionally damaged. Class started at 9, I accidentally got there at 9. This was the alright, but it won't be happening again (probably). Things went from okay to good to bad real fast when the syllabus was brought out. I'll insert the list now:

I had to purchase the top chunk of the list during the two hours of time the professor gave us during class for lunch and a Blick run. As you can see, the top 5 items on the list isn't near a third of the list itself. The gesso, gesso brush, staple gun, staples, 8 stretcher bars, canvas, and terpenoid alone cost $141 (!!!). I'm procrastinating going back for the rest of it for fear of spending twice that amount on the rest of it, but hey! Thank god for 20% of total purchase coupons and back to school sales!!!

The good news is, upon return from carrying half of my body weight 5 blocks or so we turned the stretcher bars, canvas, and staples into two stretched canvases of which we put the first layer of gesso on. We then were informed of our assignment to be completed by next Wednesday which I'm ecstatic about. What? An assignment that I'm looking forward to? Absurd! But it is art school. 

The Next Wednesday: Painting Practice Day 2: 

I bet you're wondering what our assignment was. Well, we had to select a random postcard depicting a painting in the museum. Much to my surprise and delight I chose 'A Sunday on La Grande Jatte,' otherwise known as the Ferris Bueller Painting. And if you're not familiar with it: 

You might not be able to tell what's actually going on in this painting on your small screen, but that- my friends-is pointillism. You stipple little dots with your paint brush, honestly it's mental. But not far off from this piece I did earlier this year across some white roses: 

So needless to say, it was right up my alley. We had to choose a portion of it to replicate and sketch while standing in the museum. You see, there's quite a lot going on in this painting, it's massive [see below]. So even selecting a small section means quite a lot of work for Belle. Lets just say, four hours of my life and two sore feet later: 

Okay, so I didn't do the test painting in the museum, but I did take a couple hours back in the dorm to do that fun little project. Needless to say, the TA was pretty impressed with my sketching/pointillism job so it was all worth it. BUT the professor is a fan of keeping us all on our toes, and failed to mention that we actually weren't aiming to replicate the painting in class. Rather divide the sketch and our canvas up into four sections and practice different oil painting techniques in each one of them. This meant no stippling for me. Today I stood for 7 hours straight and learned so much. 

The first section of the painting had to be done impasto style, meaning you lay the paint down thick. But with a twist: No White Allowed. I honestly thought that this was the end of me, I mean the little girl is in that quadrant, and her dress is white. The grand allure of the SAIC Painting Class was all scrapped, thrown out the window. But I took a breath, picked up my brush, and moved on with my life. Cause you have to be open to new experiences and growth at an expensive art school. 

The next quadrant was meant to be a wash in which you take the oil paint and thin it down to a transparent state with terpenoid and apply very light, overlapping layers. Still no white. But also, we couldn't do a pencil outline to begin in this section. We had to apply paint directly to the canvas with no instruction as to what is suppose to go where, just color blocking. 

The third section was a combination of impasto and the wash. The outlines were drawn using the impasto style and then the spaces in between were filled in with a wash. Again, no white. Surprisingly, the white wasn't missed this round. Alright, maybe it was because a peachy flesh color is hard to accomplish without white. 

The fourth and final portion of the painting was interesting. The style choice wan't specified, we had the past 6 hours and 15 minutes to experiment with all of these different ways to oil paint and now it was up to us. AND we could use white! It seemed too good to be true. It was. We couldn't use the postcard for color reference or our sketch book to see how the painting looked in that quadrant. Luckily, I had stared at the painting for roughly 6 hours over the past week plus the 6 previous hours in class so I wasn't in too much trouble, but some kids were struggling. But look on the bright side, white paint. 

Things I Learned Through My TA Cause He's Amazing and a Practicing Painter Himself and Knows Practically Everything, or at Least it Seems That Way, Like He's so Interesting, and of Course My Professor Richard

1. Every part of a painting holds a color and a value within that color. You don't need white to see the colors emerging from the painting and white only makes your painting opaque. Oil Paint is made of flecks of pigment that are surrounded in oil to allow the light to enter the paint and bounce around making the painting translucent. That's why even the darkest paintings in museums produce a rich luminous light. The light is pushing the color forward via reflections. White does not provide you with that reflection, no matter how light the value you're mixing is.
2. When you're working on an oil painting and you begin with an outline, you can not treat it as a 'paint by number' as my work was referred to many times today. You need to move around the painting. Add "notes" of color to the surface and do it quickly. Impressionist paintings are so true to the moment they were captured in because they were captured in the moment. The details come later, the color comes now. Otherwise that beautiful cloud you're capturing in real life is going to drift away just as that sail boat faded into the distance. 
3. More on number 2: Your painting must always remain in a state of completeness. What I mean by that is it must appear presentable to a viewer at any given time. For instance, if you are a fan of the 'paint by number' method as I am and you like to get sections done at once, apparently that's wrong. Again, the details come later. Make the base appear presentable with your color and then continue adding to the painting. Remember, oil painting is an additive and subtractive process, but more on that later...
4. An oil painting becomes an oil painting when colors are blended into one another. While color blocking and making those color "notes," you must keep putting different tones next to one another to capture dimension within your two-dimensional canvas. A solid green next to a solid flesh color makes for a 2D mess. Blend some colors in between for a more interesting dynamic. 
5. The way you hold a paint brush is crucial and hard to keep in the right position. You can't hold your brushes like a pencil. Richard tells us to hold it like a banana, if you're into that analogy. Also the way you apply the paint according to the method you're using is also crucial. I don't know how to explain this one, you kind of have to see for yourself. Trust me though, there's a lot of rules. 
6. When you're doing impasto outlines with the oil paint itself, vary your lines shapes and sizes. One continuous line of the same thickness isn't interesting. Lines of differing sizes and shapes and curves are. 
7. When you're color blocking impasto style, make sure your brush strokes go in different directions and curves. Just like your lines, chunks of color instantly have more tone and depth when they're varied. 
8. Back to the lack of white paint, after you're allowed to use white again in the last 45 minutes of class without having used it for the last 6 hours and 15 minutes, you realize that it's not as crucial to a piece as you may have thought. I used it far less than I thought I would after having the chance to use it again. Some colors do require white, but when you're making general colors lighter, there are a lot of alternatives available rather than instantly adding white. 

This exercise was not what I expected at all, but it only got stranger as we finished it up. Richard called us over once more and told us our final task for the day. We needed to section off the 3 portions of the painting that we liked and then scrape/wipe off the rest of the paint. "When you're all done with this painting, you're going to think it's the shittiest thing you've ever made. And if it's not, well then what are you even doing here," he said, but that didn't stop me from having an attachment to my shitty painting after standing in front of it for the last 7 hours. But, as I mentioned before: painting is an additive and a subtractive process. This was the time for the subtractive piece to come in. Here's the before and after. We didn't have time to cover all of the white space in the last three sections because sometimes even 7 hours is not enough time.  And please give my shitty painting a break, it's sensitive and suppose to look that way alright. 

Before the removal:

After the removal:

Apparently we will block the part we attempted to scrape away with white next week and then do who knows what with it. Remember, Richard is a fan of spontaneity. 

I was going to speak about my other classes in this blog post, but honestly painting has been quite an adventure in itself and I feel as though it deserves it's own post. We can talk about how my Research Studio class began with yoga another time. 

For now, I leave you with yet another list in case you ever feel like you just need to go to an art museum and draw something for a change of scenery. Or you're attending an art school yourself and are required to suffer. Either way, enjoy to your best abilities. 

A List of the Things You Learn From Sketching a Famous Painting in a Large Gallery Setting:

1. To get the obvious out of the way, it's a great method to study form, technique, shape, depth, light, and all of that other artistic jargon with the actual masterpiece directly in front of you. How much of a better situation for a mater study could you get? Well, I'll tell you...
2. A lot of people visit the Art Institute of Chicago on a daily basis. Any museum really, but this one is where my 'sketching in public' experience occurred. Less people would have made for a better master study situation. 
3. Many people have very poor spacial awareness skills and feel the need to stand directly in front of you for their own viewing pleasure and/or the better photo angle...regardless of what you were doing prior to ending up staring at their back. 
4. Speaking of spacial awareness, if people notice you are holding a sketchbook, they'll stand just about as close a they can get to you in your peripheral vision without 'disturbing' you. And the occasional few will whisper to the person they're with, "She's drawing that."
5. And even more rare, you'll get the person that actually speaks directly to you, either to ask to take a photo of you sketching the painting or to actually introduce themselves to you!
6. After standing for 2 hours straight and using your arm as a drafting table, you end up quite sore. My suggestion to fix this problem is yoga. The Art Institute of Chicago will not appreciate it if you do yoga in their gallery spaces. Save that for the start of your Research Studio Class on Fridays. 
7. You notice that every group of 'museum-goers' has one leader and multiple followers. The leader is a person that believes they are the art expert and no one can tell them otherwise. Especially with standing in front of 'A Sunday on La Grande Jatte' for 4 hours over the past two days, I've found that the extensive knowledge known of the piece by these self-proclaimed art history majors is as follows: "So stand here towards the back, alright? Notice how it looks complete and whole. Now walk forward towards the painting and you'll realize that it's all tiny little dots. That's called pointillism." Every. Single. One of them. This statement is usually followed by going directly up to the piece, putting their hand across the wire strung near the floor, and gesturing in a way that they too were stippling their lives away on the massive canvas. You know, to give an example of how pointillism is accomplished, only to be yelled at for crossing the line by the security personnel standing near by. 
8. A little background knowledge goes a long way when it comes to explaining why a piece is the way it is to a confused group of tourists that believe they "may know why the boarder is brightly colored in comparison to the painting." And no, it is not because the entire underpainting are those same bright colors. 
9. Museums close a lot earlier than they should, well, for an art student. With single classes from 9am to 4pm (Yes you read that correctly. One class, seven hours) it presents only an hour for me to sketch until the museum closes at 5 (8pm on Thursdays!!!)
10. It's one of the most intimidating things ever. People will say the sketch looks good, but honey you know it does not.

-Belle xx

College is Weird: A Poem

College is weird.

Everyone lives here,
Everyone's new,
Everyone's trying to make it through the week, just like you.

The people are friendly,
The art is abundant,
The orientations lectures are redundant.

I've made great friends,
I've shopped at Target,
I've gone through four days without a regret (yet).

Classes start tomorrow,
Painting is first,
The rhyming scheme and format I've chosen has now been thrown off.
I'm the worst.

I hoped you enjoyed my sad attempt at poetry. I promise it won't happen again.

But really, the limited experience I have at The School of the Art Institute of Chicago has been nothing shy of incredible. Everyone shares this same common ground of a deeply rooted passion that expands over a vast array of mediums and methods of getting both ideas and emotions across. I can't wait to see what others create with the materials they know and new ones they'll come to love. We start classes officially on Wednesday (otherwise known as tomorrow-yikes) and I'm looking forward to dedicating quite a lot of time to my practices. After all, I'm going to this expensive school for this very purpose, so ready or not, here it comes.

Meeting people and developing relationships hasn't been as terrifying as I originally anticipated. Everything begins with a simple Hello and the rest is history, or at least the planning of a mac and cheese party that will soon become history.

I don't want to let you in on too many secrets, because I haven't quite figured them all out myself yet. Maybe in a week or so when I've actually been to all of my classes once I'll be able to blog a little more in detail, but for now, enjoy some fun photos of my four days in college:

See you soon, 

Stay Golden,

-Belle xx

A Painting of You [Senior Year Edition]

I knew it had been far too long when I went to type my URL into the Google search engine only for it to not result in the immediate recognition of my blog in it's own lovely little corner of the Internet.

It's definitely been over a year since my last blog post which discussed the complications of a seemingly simple task such as baking cookies. So many challenging decisions, golden memories, obnoxious dance moves, successful baking trials, meetings of Internet sensations, sore post-concert throats, letters written, musicals stage managed, friends made, late night exchanges, art created, planes flown in, pools lounged it, sleepless nights, milestones, endings, changes, AP calc tests, tears, smiles, indescribable moments that mysteriously fade into the picturesque misty water color memories of a year. And I don't know if we're able to catch up on it all, at least not in one blog post. At least, not in this blog post.

I wanted to make a comeback, have a fresh start. Begin Again, so to say, and I wanted to do it in a way where I could assist those that are about to undergo the year I just lived. You'll each be making your own sets of misty water color memories, and I want you to paint them boldly, beautifully, and leave nothing but yourself and a lack of regrets on the paper. A painting without watermarks. A painting for the masses. A painting of you.

There's no concrete way to write a list of fool-proof tasks to follow in order to make sure your Senior Year is beyond perfect-trust me. Mine was far from perfect, and I couldn't have asked for it to go any differently. Except there definitely could have been less calculus. Actually a lot less calculus. But we're not here to talk about calculus. We're here to talk about you.

Belle's Fool-Proof Guide To Making Senior Year The Best You're Capable of Making It

1. Don't take AP Calculus.

Now I know what you're thinking. Belle, you literally just said you weren't going to talk about calculus. Well, I also said I was going to tell you how to make your senior year the best you're capable of making it, and this definitely is one way to improve your senior year. That is, if you're not good at math like myself. Although, most high schools make students decide what their proceeding year entails roughly a year in advance when their past selves can't even anticipate what will be best for dinner, let alone for their future selves. And their counselors are always "oh-so-helpful-and-assisting" when it comes to the student changing their mind on their year-old misCALCulation. So if you are in either of these situations regarding the dreaded AP Calculus as you're reading this blog post now, the only thing left to do is pray... and listen to a few tips I have to make the less-than-ideal situation a little more bearable. If you're ecstatic to be learning about all the amazing things a derivative is capable of doing, why limits do or don't exist, and why integrals are necessary, than feel free to move on to the next tip. But if you're already riding the struggle bus because of that nice 80 question packet of summer homework, hang in there my friend! Deep breaths are crucial. 

1. You can attempt to seek removal from the class through your counselor, but as I alluded to before, you're probably not going to get far. I went in three separate times and asked to be moved into the regular calculus class at various intervals of the year (including once within the first week of school) and was only told that I couldn't switch because someone "paid" for me to be in that class. Smile, nod, and scream about the bullshit later folks.

2. Find a couple friends that make calculus look effortless and never let them go. You may have to buy them coffee every once in a while to prompt the pre-test cram sessions, but they obviously know what they're doing more than you'll ever know and quite often have better methods than the teachers or calc chat could ever offer. 

3. Get your homework done the night it's assigned and go in for one-on-one help with the teacher the next day if you don't understand something. The most basic tip in the books: Asking For Help. But I completely understand how demeaning it can be to continuously ask for help in a subject that's about as challenging as learning a foreign language with no prior instruction. You feel stupid and you don't want the teacher to know that you know absolutely nothing. But they're being paid to help you, so take advantage of it!

4. Keep crying during tests to a minimum. Remember, it's just one test. It won't matter in a years time. 

5. You can get through a year of AP Calculus. Even this girl who's going to Art Skool made it through with an A in the class. Even while continuously riding the struggle bus. Now back to your regularly scheduled list. 

     2. Talk to Everyone and Anyone.

Senior year is the year of 'fatal encounters' in which you will come across at least a handful of people a month or two before the school year ends and ask yourself where these people have been all your life, or at least the last three years of your life. It's pretty rude of them to have been hiding from you and all, but it's also partially your fault for never searching outside of your sacred squad. Trust me, I know talking to new people can be pretty scary, or god forbid, awkward. But even if you do try to branch out and end up making a fool of yourself in the process, there's no harm done because you won't have to see each other ever again in a couple months! But if it so happens that the person you just began talking to turns out to be one of the most amazing and relatable people you could hope to meet, you have to now say goodbye to that little piece of perfection you just got your hands on. To prevent this sadness from occurring in your life, make sure to have some of those 'fatal encounters' in the fall if at all possible. 

     3. Appreciate the time you have with your Friends.

If your group of friends is anything like mine, everyone in eleven months from now will be going in completely different directions to colleges all over the States, or even one lone straggler in London. Take the time to make those connections and memories with one another. Live in the moment, but documentation is also important (especially in eleven months time). Go on adventures, group trips, dinners in the city, the lame school dances, homework sessions, laptop club, Instagram missions, and the infamous Taco Bell runs. Just appreciate everyone for their quirks and individual-ness that makes your friends themselves, cause soon enough they'll be gone and adventures of one get to be lame and FaceTimes don't do gossip sessions justice. 

     4. You'll know what college is right for you when you feel it.

The madness of a college decision made me want to rip my hair out at least 84,000 times within the last year. And it's not just the decision, no. Every single part of the process can be incredibly stressful. From figuring out which school actually is your 'dream school,' to applying to your dream school, to waiting for either a rejection or acceptance from your dream school, to realizing that your dream school may not be your 'dream school,' to going back and forth between the pros and the cons of the final two schools you've narrowed the masses down to, to FINALLY making the decision you've been sitting on for month and months (and ending up choosing the school you looked at before your junior year even began). It sounds lame and unpredictable to say you'll know it when you feel it, but the fact of the matter is only you can truly decide what the best choice is for you. Whether money is a contributing factor, or where the schools located, or the majors they have to offer, it all has to be prioritized by what you care about. Don't lose sight of what's important to you and what you love. I knew when I applied for the School of the Art Institute of Chicago that I wanted to be there for the next four years even if I hesitated to outwardly state those feelings, and fortunately I was able to live out that dream. When the time comes to choose, you'll know what's best for you. 

     5. It's just a bad d(gr)a(de)y, not a bad life.

Ah, the dreaded 'studied-for-hours-and-still-didn't-understand-the-material' or the 'I-just-didn't-have-the-motivation-#senioritis' moment finally comes along and is the cause of your failed (whatever your definition of 'failed' might be) calc/english/physics/gym(?) test. The occasional slip-up or for some the regular slip-up might be the reason for getting down on yourself and your confidence in whatever subject the failure happened it. Please don't let it get to you. It happened, alright? Take what you learned from it and don't let it happen again. Okay, don't let it happen multiple times again. Honestly, everything that happens senior year feels incredibly stressful. Everyone lies and says that the stress stops after junior year leaving the senior slide effect to run it's course. Obviously those people hadn't taken an AP class senior year. But get this: as long as you remain pretty average and only allow the occasional slip-up to happen, you're golden. You're going to get into college, I promise. You don't deserve to be sad, I mean look at you. You've made it this far! You've got to keep going to see where you end up, and please don't let that be jail. 

     6. Have Fun

Senior year only happens once. There's going to be many, many, many exciting years ahead so don't expect it to be the highlight of your life (unless you're actually planning on peaking in high school). But jokes aside, make sure it's a great year. Go to the events and be involved with the programs you've come to love whether that be the musical, sports, the debate team, art club, marching band, the math team, or that one Mario Brothers club that always had posters hanging around the halls. There's opportunities for spontaneous fun to happen everywhere, you just have to look a little. 

That's it. Those are my tips for surviving your Senior Year of High School, now on their way to  joining the masses of other people's lists of surviving the highly anticipated year. Take whatever advice you feel is somewhat relevant to this fairly short road you're about to embark on. It all goes quite fast, so be sure you take the time to slow down and smell the cafeteria chicken served at least nine times a week, cause soon enough it'll all be gone.

-Belle xx